The Latin connection

It finally happened.

I am beginning to feel the slow but steady decline of my interest in Bi and anything Korean.

This situation is actually a complication I had anticipated a long time ago. It is not a straight-forward lost of interest--It's a cultural issue more than anything.

I always felt that being Filipino meant a whole gamut of national and cultural identity confusion or maybe even, a vacuum. Who am I, and what does it mean to be a Filipino? Unlike our Asian neighbors, the Filipinos have a weak sense of national identity. Our history is young, and most of what they teach us in school date back at the beginning of the Spanish period, in the early 1500s to the late 1800s. After that, it's more colonial history after colonial history. Yeah, most of us look Malay with mixes from different colonial periods, but we don't have much in common with our Malay neighbors.
The country's predominant religion is not shared with any of our Asian brothers who are either mostly Muslim or Buddhist. Filipinos easily forget and forgive foreign and domestic oppressors like the Marcos family, and thus, have no inclination to learn from past mistakes. We have remained stagnant in the face of our Asian neighbor's development.

So what does this have to do with Bi?

Well, basically, it is difficult for me to understand and emphathize with Bi because our commonality is merely superficial. Yes, we're Asians, we're young, and we've traveled, yet, his culture and background is so different from mine. Filipinos are fond of talking with foreigners, while Koreans keep to themselves. Koreans live for work, while unfortunately, Filipinos live too much to relax. Koreans value face and honor so much, and would sacrifice so not to bring shame to the family. Filipinos may be friendly people, but at the end of the day, the country is poor and many people have learned to live without shame to be able to survive(and those in the government survive because they have no shame).
I see the good and bad side of both cultures, and I respect what each of us have. It also means that I have to accept that Bi and I, our cultural background and national history make it difficult for me to emphatize with him and like him over someone whom I can find more connection with.

Because of the complicated post-colonial history and Spanish influence, I have come to really understand the issues of Mexican actor Gael Garcia Bernal. Filipinos are Asian Latinos, be that good or bad, superficial or accurate. When Gael talks about life and politics in Mexico, I understand him more than when Bi speaks the same old script of doing his best to please everyone, and not wanting to speak about normal guy stuff like parties and girls and beer. I'm sorry, but it's creepy when you don't see a young man wanting to talk about parties and chicks once in a while for fear of displeasing his public--that is just whack. Gael is more relax, more lupine, more fluid, and he still produces damn fine work that propelled him to international stardom without needing to go Hollywood.

Interview for the movie:Y Tu mama Tambien
I have to say, that scene where you are both masturbating on the diving board looked pretty real . . .
Bernal: That's a nice compliment, in a way.
Luna: Everything in the movie was acting.

Have you ever been in a threesome off-screen together?
Luna: I've been, but not with him. With another friend.
Bernal: When I was in a threesome, it was with two other girls.

One of the things I really enjoyed about the film were the narrator's observations and the director's tendency to drift off on tangents — it had a paternal quality, a sense of conscience. Did you think the film's political messages were appropriate?
Luna: Yes. The movie shows reality. We want the viewers to draw their own conclusions from the reality that we show. It's not a film forcing you to think in any way.
Bernal: I think the messages are very important, because this isn't just a teen movie. Besides, I don't think you can get away with making a film in Mexico without including political messages.

Diego, do you usually flap your arms when you get a blowjob?
Luna: That blowjob was different. It was a professional one.

Do you think you'll be getting more now?
Bernal: We don't think, we know. (laughs)
Luna: Yes. We've been receiving a lot more. That is why I love this movie. I don't care about the awards or the premiere or anything. I just care about the blowjobs.
---http://www.nerve.com/screeningroom/film/ytumama/

That was one of Gael's "funny" interviews, something Bi would probably never say or do because he is Korean and his conservative fan base--asians.

I kindda feel bad for Bi, actually. It would be difficult for him to explore his music and his acting because I have a feeling his choices are now based on what majority of his fans expect from him, and not what he wants to do for himself. It's sad, because he's only 24 and his hands seem to be tied.

I am not comparing Bi with Gael to shortchange Bi. I am defining my feelings for two personalities based on different factors taking root from my cultural, social, and traditional background.

So there you go. By accepting Gael, I've accepted the part of me that I kept trying to smother in hopes of feeling a certain oneness with my Asian neighbors, which in truth, isn't as strong as the land bridges that connected this continent thousands of years ago.