Who art thou Filipina?

Asians are generally believed to be conservative compared to their western counterparts. When I say Asians, I include the entire continent from east, west and south. It doesn't matter if you are Indian, Malay, Japanese, or Filipino, if you're Asian, you're generally more conservative and traditional than the Americans or Europeans and Aussies.

In Japan, different occassions may call for different types of speaking, the informal and formal way. This is the same in Korea. In the Philippines, we are also conscious of showing respect especially to elders so we add the "respectful" words "po" and "opo" when we address someone who is significantly older. Like the Koreans and Japanese, older men and women are given titles as signs of respect. Sex, specially pre-marital sex, is still a risque subject and not something that can be brought up casually with older people, definitely not among relatives, and never with parents.

But even amongst Asians, there are still cultures that are more conservative and traditional than others. My Japanese friends who interned in Asian Development Bank got used to the casual meetings that Filipinos practice where introductions are done by giving people's first names. When he had to make introductions with other Japanese, he had to program his brain to revert it back to formal speech because he got used to the Pinoy's relax and casual manner.

After 300 years in the convent and 50 years in Hollywood, the Filipino national identity can be easily described as confuse. Three centuries under Spanish rule and half a century of Americans will play on anybody's self-esteem, much more a country's sense of identity. So, we are probably not as conservative or as sure of our identity as Koreans, Chinese, Thais, or Japanese.

There is this myth about Filipina women where we are supposed to be living up to the image: "dalagang Filipina" a title implying many underlying facts and fiction. I assume this depiction of a Filipina was the ideal for good Catholic girls.

Dalagang Filipina fact:
1.) Majority of Filipina women still see themselves marrying one day. (I'm not even sure if they want to, but it's expected by society)
2.) Casual sex and even premarital sex are still generally frowned upon or openly dissaproved.


Dalagang Filipina fiction
1.) We only "give" our virginities to our future husband.
2.) We have to be courted for a long period, inclusive of family approval, before we allow ourselves to get into a relationship.
3.) We dont think and talk about sex often.
4.) Our men treat us like fragile flowers (bullshit! I'm a girl, but there are no gender demarcations in my home, and I do what my dad (mostly) demands from me. My female colleagues work full-time and still has to keep the house, kids, and husband happy.)
5.) We all want children someday or atleast think they're all adorable.

Of course, I am a born and bred a city girl and I cannot speak for the more conservative and traditional women from the countryside or "province" as Filipinos identify people not reared in highly urbanized areas. BUT even for those from the province, item #4 is applicable. Women from the countryside are sturdy and strong and they keep home, hearth and family together even under difficult conditions.

Often, Filipina women are brought up and taught to be "mahinhin" and "pino" or pure and delicate. These are the virtues that Filipino society accepts and men supposedly want. I find this utter bullshit at this day and age.

As a 3rd world country working to catch up to its Asian neighbors with emerging economies, women have no time to act pure and delicate. Women need to work alongside the men to augment the family income and send their 5.1 children to school.
Womanizing, two-faced sleazeballs are often forgiven and sometimes expected in the "macho" culture of the Philippines. This is another reason why we can't do the fluffy act because Filipinas need to be strong to either crush their macho husband's two-timing balls or steadfastly hold the family together for the sake of their 5.1 children while her husband's pecker wonders about and sleeps in another woman's bed. Whereas an American woman would divorce her husband's ass and demand half of his assets for cheating on her, Filipinas still often look the other way. Frankly, I choose kicking him out, but what does a urbanized single girl know about bringing up a family right? Am I too liberated or selfish to nurture a family? This much I know, my hypothetical children will lose their respect for their mother for playing the martyr and still hate their greaseball of a father when they find out. So, what's the use of maintaining a happy family act in that kind of situation?
Oh of course, we're Catholics (but that's another story).

No, it's not true, we aren't as mahinhin or pino as before(like 40 years ago). We can't afford to be, and maybe many of us DONT WANT TO BE.

So with that introduction, I give you the controversial clip of Korean actor Lee Dong wook's visit to a local tv show when he was here in Manila over the weekend. Most of his fans are up in arms because they feel that the show misrepresented the true essense of a Filipina who is sweet, pure, and refined. Uh huh, is our president in anyway "pure and refined?"

Controversial clip #1 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJc13EuLvDQ


Frankly, I think that its universal for pretty girls who always got used to men falling for them to try their charms on a man they find attractive. What does that have to do with being a "dalagang Filipina"?There are different styles and ways, but women ALWAYS want to be noticed by attractive men--that's why species survive. The women in the show obviously think they're pretty and fun enough not to embarrass their guest and even make him laugh while keeping his fans charged with envious excitment.

So maybe Korean women or Indian or Taiwanese women would not be as bold when they want to be noticed by an attractive guy. SO what? Just because we are more expressive and less shy than some Asian girls, it doesn't make us cheap. I'm reacting to the hostilities of fans who are so afraid of ruining an image, as opposed to accepting reality.

e.g. comments from youtube:

ruinu (2 days ago)
shit!(sorry 4 d bad comment)...man those girlz are such flirts, im so embarassed 4 them, how janelle & mariel were acting in front of dong wook was...1 word "yuck!"...d both of them were definitely flirting w/ LDW....

dorjilee (1 day ago)
lee dong wook is sooo cute!!!ang landi talga nila mariel and janel!!! hindi cute ung mga pinaggagawa nila. (mariel and janel are such flirts. What they did wasn't cute at all)it's really so embarassing!!!yucks!!!we all know naman na koreans are conservative (...and then they even asked that luningning to dance like that!) tapos pinasayaw pa nila ng ganun c luningning!!!duh... pangbeerhouse ung sayaw nya, hindi pang noontime show!!!! (her dancing belongs in a beerhouse and not a noontime show)

Geostars (1 day ago)
Really stupid and embarassingly bad. The only thing that would improve it is if the squirming "hosts" got naked and sucked him off.

LDWaddict (1 day ago)
i hate mariel very much..napaka landi..feeling maganda.. lalo na si luningning, napaka pangit naman.. sana mamatay na silang dalawa, mga malandi.buti nalang si janel dadil hindi masyadong ma ladi...(i hate mariel very much, she is such a skank and she thinks she's so beautiful. That Luningning is so ugly, I hope they both die, skanks! Atleast Janel wasn't as bad)

If most Filipinas are really delicate and sweet, then I wouldn't think that bashing the tv hostesses is hypocritical. But come on, Filipinos are crafty and creative in circumveting procedures to get ahead, that applies to both men and women(just look at queues in this country--there aren't any because people just cut in line), so with this behavior, how do could we still propagate this belief of being sweet, shy, and refined? Another thing, the general masses idolize a tv hostess borne of wealth and power (our equivalent to America's Kennedys) who managed to drag her family's name down the mud with numerous affairs with married men and a media announcement of contracting STD from a married lover--she certainly does not fit the bill of a dalagang Filipina. But Filipinos love her irreverence.


Dalagang Filipina?

GIVE.ME.A.BREAK.